Assertiveness was something that eluded me as a kid. It didn’t help that I was always told I was shy. I found it difficult to make friends and join in.
And my dad losing his temper and running after me – usually if I’d upset mum in some way – surely quashed any assertiveness I might have developed.
Breaking a window with a football or coming in with muddy trainers was sure to be met with a clip round the ear when he finally caught me.
I may be over-dramatizing things, but it certainly felt frightening at the time. My young brain was confused and wrongly assumed, through dad’s example, that in order to assert yourself you had to become angry.
Assertiveness wrongly associated with anger
Politicians knocking on doors to gain electoral support would always be met with a sense of dread in me.
Although the conversation would start off fine, I would shirk away in the background, anticipating that dad would soon be swearing at them on the doorstep then up the garden path as they retreated with haste.
He hasn’t changed to this day!
Thus, I struggled to be assertive because I’d associated it with being angry, which I didn’t like seeing in others or feeling in myself. I simply couldn’t differentiate the two.
The result was that I lacked confidence in speaking up, had trouble joining in group activities, and had no opinions to offer class debates.
I didn’t know how to speak up for myself because doing so might lead to an argument or even a fight! Fearful of getting angry like my father, I said nothing.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with anger; it can save your life in the right context. As part of the fight/flight response – like anxiety that might make you want to avoid social situations – anger can help us fight our way to safety. But, of course, I didn’t know this back then.
Ten Steps to Absolute Assertiveness is the sort of course I wish I’d have done all those years ago. Indeed, it wasn’t until studying psychology and hypnotherapy in my 20s and 30s that I realised that you can be assertive without things escalating out of control.
Being true to yourself and others
So, one of the major benefits of this online course is in learning how to communicate better. Each of the ten hypnosis downloads included in the course will build your assertiveness skills, helping you to speak more honestly, both at home and at work.
It will help you perform better in your career – such as in public speaking and giving presentations – and perhaps best of all, help you to be true to yourself and those you love.
And that’s what assertiveness is really all about. It’s about speaking your truth, being genuine and real. It’s about showing up in the world rather than watching life from the side-lines.
Finding your voice – telling your story
Absolute assertiveness is about finding your voice and developing the confidence to share your opinions without having to angrily chase anyone – politician or otherwise – off the doorstep and out of the yard!
The truth is, your story needs to be heard. The world needs an authentic you to participate in this amazing journey. Otherwise, who are you in the world?
To my mind, life is too short to be pretending. This ten-step course could be a major player in helping you re-join the game of life.
I wonder what will be the first things you notice changing as your ramp up your assertiveness? What will others notice changing in you? It’s time to get really curious…
Find out more about Ten Steps to Absolute Assertiveness here and if you enrol I’d love to hear how you get on.
Of go back to online courses to find out about self-esteem, social anxiety, insecurity in relationships, success – and more.