This article on self confidence is provided by Mark Tyrrell, one of my trainers over the years, and he speaks about how his confidence was boosted enormously through the use of hypnosis.
My own confidence was also helped through listening to self-hypnosis cassettes (remember those?) back in the early 90s. I went from being a nervous wreck – especially with the opposite sex – to being calm and confident within a few weeks.
It was one of the reasons I started studying hypnosis. If it could help me, surely it could help others?
I’ll let Mark tell the story in his own words and I hope you find it interesting and useful…
What exactly is self confidence?
I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much, I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me.
Some people, of course, have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody – including you – can learn to be more confident.
Here I’ll tell you about the things that made the biggest difference to my confidence levels…
Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it!
So, self confidence means:
1) Being calm
For every situation in life you need to work with the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into an experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a wider range of situations.
2) Being cool
The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.
3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you
We’ve all done this: imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you arrive it is totally different to what you imagined. That’s how reliable your imagination is!
Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong.
(This is a point Mark also raises in the article on how to overcome shyness)
4) Being specific – where do you want to feel more confident?
Confidence is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere.
To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. By doing so, you begin to steer your attention towards confidence.
5) Understanding that what you expect is probably what you’ll get
Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set your subconscious mind will do everything it can to bring about the completion of that task.
Think of it like this…
If you’ve ever tried to remember someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.
The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task for your brain’s behaviour which eventually produced the name for you – when you weren’t even thinking about it consciously.
You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital…
6) Don’t task your mind with negatives
Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you actually want!
Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do if you’re telling it what not to do.
The thing is that nature has given you a wonderful tool to help lay down the right blueprints with.
7) Use nature’s goal-setter
Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for your brain, you need to know how to do this reliably.
Good hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination.
If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed in a certain situation while in a relaxed hypnotic state, it will be hard for your subconscious mind to do anything else when you’re in that place for real.
The blueprint – or expectation – for relaxation in that situation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.
3 simple strategies to feel more self confident
So, what can you do right now to help you begin to boost your levels of confidence?
Here are three simple steps you can start with…
1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.
2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember, your brain works best on clear positive instructions.
3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your subconscious mind.
You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download the benefits will be even more powerful.
So, if you feel like you’ve been blessed with less confidence than others, you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in a different way right now.
It took me years to learn how to be more confident – now you can do it in a fraction of the time.
Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads