The Observing Self refers to that part of us that can stand back from a situation and see the bigger picture. It is the opposite of being locked in a trance state. But it goes much further than that…
When we are in the position of the observer, we can witness not only external things more objectively but also our internal experiences – our thoughts, feelings, drives, impulses etc. – without becoming hijacked by them.
On this page I’d like to explore how the Observing Self plays an important part in psychotherapy – and life itself – and how you can develop the capacity to see things from a more transcended consciousness, free from past conditioning and the emotional trances that rule your life.
And I’ve included a FREE technique that can help you develop your Observing Self.
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What is the Observing Self?
When we speak of hypnosis what we’re really referring to is a ‘narrowed focus of attention’. We become absorbed in whatever we’re thinking, feeling, or doing to the point that other things fade into the background.
Sports people call this being ‘in the zone’. Daydreaming, meditation, creative hobbies like drawing or playing a musical instrument all involve greater or lesser degrees of focus and absorption.
For this reason, we can say that hypnosis plays a huge part in daily life; we regularly go into hypnosis when our attention zooms in on something for a period of time.
But the Observing Self is the opposite of hypnosis. When you step into the observer or witness position you expand your focus of attention, like a photo lens zooming out away from its target so you get a wider shot. And from this position you’re able to perceive alternative views and see things in a larger context.
You’re no longer in the anxiety, anger, or depression but are one step removed from it. This is a vital step in regaining control over your emotional brain.
Negative self hypnosis
So, before you get to mastering the Observing Self, it helps to understand how you’re already creating the negative trances that run your life…
Do you fret and worry for hours on end?
What about being stuck in an anger trance? Or an anxiety or depression trance? How have you created such things?
These are all examples of negative self-hypnosis. You go into a focused state then mull over things to the nth degree, reinforcing the problem. Or, whilst in trance, you then repeat a behaviour habitually or obsessively, as in OCD.
And the same thing drives addiction; something triggers the urge, you enter the hypnotic state and before you know it you’re smoking again or snorting coke up your nose.
Once in trance (and what we’re talking about here is the REM state – our most powerful programming state) you reinforce the behaviour and associated thoughts and emotions. In other words, negative self-hypnosis reinforces all the things you don’t really want in your life: the worry, low self-esteem, depression, trauma/PTSD, anger, addiction etc.
So, how to escape? This is where the Observing Self comes in…
Below is a fantastic video explaining the Observing Self. Once developed, it can free you from limiting emotional trances and connect you up to a higher state of consciousness…
How to develop the Observing Self
One of the key requirements in developing the Observing Self is calmness. We simply can’t see or think clearly when the emotional/survival brain is running the show. Strong emotion will distort how you perceive reality.
RELATED CONTENT: Zen Breathing: how to calm your emotions and think like the Buddha
But it’s no good trying to calm down by using positive thinking. This is because the brain processes emotions before thoughts.
I speak more about this in my article on the failure of CBT; you can’t just think yourself out of strong emotions. You have to find a way of calming down first. And one of the best ways is to employ something called the AWARE technique.
This will not only calm both mind and body but will also help you start to develop the Observing Self.
It’s almost as if you detach yourself from your emotions and thought processes and observe them happening ‘somewhere over there’. Getting some distance means that you are no longer entranced or ‘locked in’ by the power of emotion.
You can still see/hear/feel the emotion but it’s as if you are one step removed. And when you direct your attention elsewhere (stop fuelling the flames of emotion) the emotion will simply burn itself out.
The AWARE technique
Although primarily used to help with anxiety and anger, the AWARE technique can be applied to any emotion or any emotionally driven behaviour (such as addiction and self-harming). The technique helps to quickly calm the ‘survival’ brain, freeing you from old emotional patterns and reactions.
Each letter in AWARE (A-W-A-R-E) stands for something and when carried out, one step at a time, you calm your body and access the Observing Self. This enables you to see a much clearer picture, much like the image in a snow globe when you’ve let the snow flakes settle. Remember, all emotional arousal distorts our perception of reality.
A = Acceptance of your current emotional experience
W = Watch and scale the intensity of the emotion from 1 to 10
A = Act as normally as you can and attend to your breathing
R = Remind yourself of your resources (there’s more to you than that emotion)
E = Expect things to improve: see yourself making progress
Download a detailed explanation of the AWARE technique and start feeling better fast
What you’ll get from the AWARE technique
So, rather than just being a reframing technique or an attempt at positive thinking (as in CBT), the AWARE technique helps you work directly with your body-mind and emotions. And it gives you a tremendous boost in confidence when you soon start to notice you’re mastering those old emotions.
So what will you get from mastering the AWARE technique?
- When you apply it regularly not only do you escape the trance of powerful emotions and black and white/all-or-nothing thinking, but you start to raise your level of consciousness
- You are no longer operating on survival mode but are developing two of your most powerful resources: the Observing Self and the imagination
- You can calmly assess a situation (that used to trigger you) and choose to respond differently
- You can work with your emotions rather than being bullied by them. You can think more clearly because you’re functioning from the higher cortex rather than the limbic system
- Once calmer and from a more emotionally detached position you can establish new expectations based on what you actually want by mentally rehearsing success, like a top athlete would do.
You might call this positive self-hypnosis or ‘generative trance’ – from a more expansive state of consciousness.
Once the Observing Self is in charge, the egoic-conditioned mind becomes servant rather than master. The tables are turned.
But it doesn’t stop there…
Going beyond the Observing Self
Developing the Observing Self is a vital skill to master if we’re to evolve further as a species, otherwise we remain stuck at a rather primitive level of functioning. You’ve only got to look at the conflicts being fought all over the world to see how un-evolved we are.
The thing is that although we may get emotional distance from something, we still exist in the ordinary world of duality. You – me. Subject – object. This – that.
But there are other rungs on the ladder of evolution, beyond the Observing Self. There are other, higher states of consciousness, or what therapist and spiritual teacher Stephen Wolinsky calls ‘no state states’ in his book Trances People Live. This is where subject and object become One.
Real transcendence doesn’t simply mean conquering emotion and rising above something but merging with the observed object and becoming one. Our consciousness merges with the consciousness of The Other.
Going beyond the Observing Self takes us into the realm of the mystics and the experience of non-duality, where everything is perceived as ONE THING. And when you’ve had the experience of merging with the universe – however fleeting – there’s no way those old emotions can boss you around anymore.
Find out more about my experience of Oneness and the use of mysticism in psychotherapy.
Remember to download a more in-depth handout about the AWARE technique to free yourself from limiting emotional trances.
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Books about trance and the Observing Self
Here are 3 related books that you might also be interested in reading…
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