Books to Change Your Life

I’ve always been an avid reader and have been devouring self help books since my late teens.

Still to this day, I like nothing better than to wander around a second hand bookshop. Inevitably I get drawn to the mind-body-soul sections, honing my attention on psychology and spirituality.

But be wary!

Self help books promise the earth: 101 cures for your physical ills, how to banish the blues, how to become a better lover, or even achieve spiritual enlightenment.

But there is so much dross out there!

My list of ‘Must Read Before You Die’ books comes from over 30 years of separating the wheat from the chaff.

Listed here are some of my all-time favourite self help books, the real page-turners that I’ll read again and again. I always seem to learn more with each re-reading.

And just to say that this page contains affiliate links which means if you make a purchase via the link I’ll get a small commission – at no extra cost to yourself. My full affiliate products disclosure can be read here

self help books on a shelf
Picture source: Margie Warrell

My Favourite ‘Must Read Before You Die’ Self Help Books

Click on the ones you like in this table of contents or just scroll down through the whole lot. Then click on the titles to go through to Amazon for more info.

My Favourite ‘Must-Reads’

The Human Givens – a new approach to emotional health and clear thinking

This has to be number one on my list. When it first came out in 2004 it changed the way I did therapy. For sure, I’d only just finished my initial training back then but this book – and the subsequent training I did with the HG Institute – provided me with a blueprint for how people can change.

Ground-breaking and essential reading for everyone, not just other therapists. If you want to understand yourself more this is a book you must read!

The Power of Now – a guide to spiritual enlightenment

When it comes to self help books on spiritual enlightenment Eckhart Tolle’s is one of the best.

Written in simple, easy-to-understand language, I love dipping back into this every so often. I always seem to get deeper wisdom each time I do. Indeed, it’s a great book even if you have time to read only one page a day. Perennial spiritual philosophy for the 21st century.

Trances People Live – healing approaches in quantum psychology

Stephen Wolinsky blew my mind when I first read this! As a hypnotherapist, I didn’t have to hypnotise anyone – my clients were already in a trance!

He tells us how we all develop trances (states of locked attention) very early on in life that will remain fixed until we work on ourselves or get the right help. I like to think I offer people that!

If you want to understand your own trances better and how to break free order your copy now!

Waking From Sleep – why awakening experiences occur and how to make them permanent

I was reading this at the time I had my spiritual awakening experience. Whether it mentally ripened me for such an experience, I don’t know, but to this day it remains one of my favourites.

Steve Taylor writes simply but profoundly about the mystical experience, something that, apparently, more and more of us are having.

The Leap – the psychology of spiritual awakening

Steve Taylor, again, and in this book he explains the psychology behind spiritual awakening or mystical-type experiences of ‘Oneness’ and ‘unity consciousness’.

Essential reading for anyone who has had such experiences or who is a seeker of such experiences. I love Steve’s down to earth style, written as if he’s sat right beside you as you read.

Take Me to Truth – undoing the ego

A phenomenal book about several ways you can undo the ego (that messy mix of conditioning and programming from your childhood).

It’s largely based on A Course in Miracles and the deeper, universal teachings of Jesus Christ but don’t let the religious ideas in this book put you off. This is deep psychology and a book I return to again and again!

Anam Cara – spiritual wisdom from the celtic world

This book changed me!

Without doubt, John O’Donohue is one of the most beautiful writers ever to have put pen to paper.

His spiritual philosophy is woven so poetically you often have to pause and come back to yourself, having been taken somewhere ethereal by his words. It’s a book you must take your time over, each chapter or even each page, filled with gems of insights. An absolute delight.

Godhead – The Brain’s Big Bang – the explosive origin of creativity, mysticism and mental illness

Another offering from Joe Griffin and Ivan Tyrrell from the Human Givens Institute, this one delving deeper into the more spiritual realms of the human journey.

A book that will need more than one reading to fully grasp its concepts but once we do we are on the cusp of immortality. Yes, this is what the authors claim. And I believe them.

The authors published my amazon review here

Return to the One – Plotinus’s guide to God realization

Have I just read one of the best books on non-duality?

Plotinus, third century mystic philosopher and Neo-Platonist wrote the Enneads, a collection of mystical texts exploring the nature of God and the validity of spiritual experiences.

Author, Brian Hines, has spent years deciphering the ancient texts and has produced a masterpiece. Plotinus comes across as a rational mystic. This certainly resonates with me and it’s one of the best spiritual books I’ve ever read.

Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life – how to finally really grow up

James Hollis’ book really helped me as I went through my 40s, using his knowledge of Jungian analysis and the stages of the life journey.

He writes beautifully about letting go of childhood attachments and developing a better ‘story paradigm’ for the second half of life.

If you’re ready to finally grow up, read this!

The Chimp Paradox – the mind management programme for confidence, success and happiness

This is one of the best self help books of the last ten years. Steve Peters was the mind-guru at Liverpool FC for a while and in this book he makes it clear what’s going on in the brain when it comes to problems and solutions.

You’re not just a human but a chimp as well! He explains why the chimp (the emotional brain) often overrules the human (thinking brain), creating all kinds of problems for ourselves. The key is to get the chimp on your side.

Healing the Mind through the Power of Story – the promise of narrative psychiatry

One of the workshops I’ve run over the years is The Power of Story and I used this book in my research.

Beautifully written by someone with many years of narrative work in a psychiatric setting, Lewis Mehl-Madrona shows us how we can all find healing by creating new stories for ourselves.

The Body Keeps the Score – mind, brain and body in the transformation of trauma

An absolute must read if you or anyone you know have suffered from trauma (or if you are a therapist treating it).

Bessel Van Der Kolk explains in clear language how traumas are formed and what you can do to free yourself from the grip of them. My own copy has pencil notes and dog-ears virtually all the way through! A second read is essential.

Death of a hero, Birth of a Soul – answering the call of midlife

This book was an inspiration when I put together my workshop about midlife and was attending a men’s self-development group in Norfolk.

It gets right into the deep psychology of the midlife transition and the birth of your soul, bringing a more profound sense of meaning to your life. Well, it certainly did mine.

Staring at the Sun – overcoming the dread of death

Throughout my training Irvin Yalom was a huge help and influence. His book, The Gift of Therapy, remains close to hand and I still, to this day, dip into it every so often to soak up the master’s wisdom.

This one, as the title suggests, helps us to explore the last taboo from an existential perspective, bringing right out into the open the one thing in life we can all be certain about – death. Read it when you’re ready and never fear it again.

The Observing Self – mysticism and psychotherapy

Over the last ten years or so of my professional work I’ve noticed a move toward the more spiritual aspects of this human journey.

Arthur Deikman’s book – which I’ve now read three times – draws upon the wisdom of the ages, and points out important elements in mysticism that can be applied in a therapeutic context. For laypersons and professionals alike, a wonderful and thought-provoking read.

The Naked Now – learning to see as the mystics see

I love Richard Rohr’s enthusiastic writing style and this cuts right to the chase. He shows us how to see the magic of this moment – the naked now – free of all the clutter of our minds.

There are several really good exercises to practice throughout, some of which I’ve since adapted in my professional work. A nice accompaniment to Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now, above.

The Way of Paradox – spiritual life as taught by Meister Eckhart

A book to be read time and again. Indeed, each reading reveals deeper insights and understandings into the teachings of the 13th century German Christian mystic Meister Eckhart.

Author Cyprian Smith writes eloquently about these deeper mysteries and how they still have relevance today, perhaps even more so. A beautifully written and important book.

Soul Whispering – the art of awakening shamanic consciousness

This book accompanied me on my travels through the summer of 2018 after I picked it up in Oxfam in near-new condition. I queried their asking price of £6.99 but it was worth every penny!

You’ll see a theme running through my must-read books and this one is no different. It’s about getting out of ego-consciousness and awakening your soul.

The Alchemy of Freedom – the philosopher’s stone and the secrets of existence

A.H. Almaas has been an important teacher to me over the last few years. His ‘Diamond Approach’ draws upon Sufi mysticism and in The Alchemy of Freedom he expands upon his earlier ideas, yet somehow putting them succinctly into less than 200 pages.

Again, we’re learning how to free ourselves from the limits that we and society place on us.

The Book of One – the spiritual path of advaita

Finally an answer!

After my experience of Oneness back in 2010 I really struggled to understand what had happened to me until I stumbled upon this in a second-hand bookshop.

Dennis Waite, drawing on the wisdom of Advaita Vedanta, argues the point that the world we know and see is merely an illusion, created by our own minds. The real reality is only experienced when we get out of duality and into unity consciousness.

This book explained my spiritual awakening. I had touched the hand of God!

I Am That – talks with Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

More on Advaita Vedanta from the great Indian mystic Sri Nisargadatta Mahraj, this book is written in a question and answer dialogue style, making quite complex ideas easier to grasp.

Again, I found it second-hand and it’s now selling for quite a bit online but this one is mine for keeps! I dip back into it every now and then, like one does a bible. Indeed, it point similarly to a much larger reality.

Science and Spiritual Practices – reconnecting through direct experience

I heard Rupert Sheldrake talk about this book at The Weekend University in London in 2018. I loved his style – no Power Point needed – just good old-school teaching.

The book is as engaging as his voice and he speaks of the importance of reconnecting to a more spiritual outlook through tried and tested practices such as gratitude, rituals, nature, and pilgrimages.

How to Change Your Mind – the new science of psychedelics

Having experimented with psychedelics throughout my 20s I was keen to read this latest offering from renowned US author Michael Pollen.

He creates a more level-headed story of psychedelics – as opposed to the gurus of the 1960s – and tells us of the latest research into the use of these drugs. Importantly, he also discloses his own recent experiences with detailed accounts of, for example, his ‘magic mushroom’ trip.

Well worth a read if you’re interested in consciousness and the potential of these ‘medicines’.

I’ll be adding more self help books to this ‘library’ over the coming months so please check back for more of my ‘must reads’.

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